Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity

This commercial reminded me of a story. In 2006 I was thrilled to be asked to be a groomsman for the wedding of two of my favorite people, Matt and Candice. This particular story takes place during the weekend of the bachelor party. The plan was to meet in Sioux Falls, SD. That was where we needed to pick up the tuxedos and where the bachelor party was being held. To be completely honest, I can't even remember what we did on Friday night when I got in to town. It may have involved playing Magic: The Gathering and having a few beers (feel free to continue reading when you're finished laughing).

After hitting the tux place Saturday morning we were off to play paintball. In order to be prepared for paintballing we were all dressed in jeans and long-sleeve shirts. The textiles covering your body provide a small degree of protection from the projectiles being shot at you. It bears mentioning that is was a hot and humid day in early August. I think that sweat was dripping off of everyone by the time we got to the paintball location. The next bit of fun was that you need to wear a helmet to protect your head and eyes from being destroyed by the paintballs. So there were 10 or so people that looked like they were dressed for a snowball fight wearing helmets that only served to stifle the portion of the body that attempts to lose the most heat. I had never played paintball and didn't know what to expect, but it was quite a bit more running and dodging than I had predicted. I was hot, but so occupied with paintball that it really didn't register as being that bad until we took breaks. During the breaks was when I noticed that I was sweating through the layers of clothes I was wearing and that my head was drenched in sweat. Unfortunately, it was not a windy day and the sweat was not aiding my body in cooling down much. Paintball was a ton of fun. I took a few ehad shots, gave a few head shots and perhaps shot my friend Allan with some friendly-fire.

After paintball was over we were all pretty exhausted and none of us felt very well. It was a feeling of lightheaded dizziness mixed with mild nausea. After sweating outside in the triple digit heat we pretty much went immediately to the freezer-like confines of the local cineplex to view Clerks 2. Going into a cool place after being over heated sounds great but in practice the quick temperture change almost makes you feel worse. Despite not feeling great we all enjoying the movie (which is still in my personal top 10). After the flick we went back and hung out at the hotel busting each other chops while having a few more beers.

The next morning we felt better and had regained out appetite so we hit IHOP for breakfast. I am not a big breakfast eater. Eating breakfast upsets my stomach for some reason. I am allergic to eggs and I really don't even like most conventional breakfast food so finding a menu option that I'll eat for breakfast isn't always easy. All of the other guys around me were ordering giant lumberjack breakfasts with eggs, sausage, steak or ham. I was set to order last and the only thing appealing to me was a breakfast heavy on fruit. It carried the unfortunate title "Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity." I tried to ask the waitress for the fruit breakfast but she wasn't understanding me so I had to speak up and say, "I'd like the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity." Needless to say everyone at the table busted my balls about that choice for the entire breakfast and they continue to do so to this day.