America's Pastime (pt. 2)

I'm sure that there are countless people anxiously waiting for the nail biting conclusion to yesterday's post, so in the interest of appeasing everyone I am going quickly run through a few examples of why I prefer National League baseball.

• The bench, and therefore the depth of a team become much more important factors.
  

In the American League, generally the eight position players that started the game will finish the game. This results in teams having several players that rarely get the chance to play. They might occasionally get in a day game following a night game to rest the usual player, but for the most part they find themselves in the dugout having a very low impact on the performance of the team. However, in the National League you will see bench players get regular pinch-hit opportunities in the pitcher's spot of the order. In addition to pinch hitting, you also see the ever-exciting double switch where the pitcher and a position player are lifted from the game with a new position player coming off the bench to hit in the pitcher's spot in the order and an arm coming out of the bullpen replacing the exiting position player's place in the batting order. With bench players getting more chances to play in the NL the depth of a team becomes more important than it is in the AL.

• The increase in the ability of the players to police themselves if things start getting a little bit dicey.

This point could be debated. The way I see it there are two ways for the players to police themselves. In hockey, if your star player is getting pushed around and roughed up you have two options. The first option is to start pushing around and roughing up the opposing team's star. The other option is to give some payback to the player who is roughing up your star. Personally, I am a supporter of the more direct route which involves confronting or dealing the the person directly responsible for the infraction. In baseball, if a player stands at the plate admiring a homerun for more time than the pitcher appreciates there is a good chance that either the next batter or the homerun hitter will be nursing a developing bruise and walking to first base in their next at-bat. I have no problem with a pitcher sending a message that they didn't exactly appreciate being shown up. If this happens in the AL, the next step is for the other team's pitcher to plunk a batter. This can be an exciting situation, but what is even more exciting is what potentially happens in the NL. The pitcher who intentionally hit a batter has to come to the plate at some point and that is when things can get real interesting. This is the very player that threw at one of your guys. Would you let that slide? So now you have a situation where the pitcher really has to think about how annoyed he really was after that last homerun because if it wasn't too annoyed perhaps he'll let it slide instead of becoming a target himself the next time his spot in the line-up comes up.

• Decisions on when to change pitchers are much more interesting.

Lets say that your starting pitcher has pitched 7 strong innings. His pitch count isn't too high and the game is tied. In the top of the eighth your pitcher is due to hit with one out and a man on first. Do you want to have him bunt so that he can stay and pitch the bottom of the eighth or do you want to lift him for a pinch hitter and trust the bullpen? These decisions do not have to be made in the AL, at least the decisions are not as difficult because you are only having to judge the pitching side of the equation where in the NL you have to balance the pitching side of the equation with the offensive side.

• Getting from first to third on a single, stealing bases and hit and runs are all more prevalent in the NL.

These are all exciting baseball plays. If you are going to hit and run or steal a base when exactly you want to try it becomes an interesting bit of strategy. In my experience AL teams are much more inclined to not take risks on the bases trying to advance runners. They get people on and hope for a three run homerun to clear them off. The chances of having a big inning in the NL are lower and that leads to a higher value being assigned to any potential run on the bases and how you are going to try to get that run in.

• Watching the eighth hitter can be as interesting as watching the big slugger.
  

With the pitcher hitting in the nine hole nearly exclusively (not including teams managed by LaRussa) there rests a higher level of responsibility for the eighth hitter in NL lineups compared to AL lineups. In the AL you usually have a meager hitting middle infielder in the eighth spot and it might be a good time to get up and grab a soda. However, in the NL you want to have an eighth hitter that can get on base. The strategy is that you'd rather not have the pitcher lead off an inning because it frequently results in the first out which means you only have two outs to try to get something going. So, situations in which the eighth hitter comes to the plate with two outs can be very interesting. Can he get on and clear the pitcher's spot this inning or will he make an out and force the pitcher to lead off the next inning? Personally, I find this situation nearly as interesting to watch as seeing the outcome when the bases are loaded with the team's slugger coming to the plate.

• If you play in the NL you better be a decent all-around player.

In the AL many teams employ a DH who is a pretty bad fielder and the fact that he gets paid to simply hit glosses over the importance of learning how to play good defense. There is no penalty for not being able to field a position. In the NL you could have a great hitter who is a bad defender, but you still need to find a place to put him. Usually, they try to squeeze them into a corner outfield spot or first base. However, the team still pays a penalty for the player not being a good defender. Perhaps the slugger fails to cut off a ball in the gap and gives up a double where a good defender could have held the hitter to a single. Perhaps the great hitter doesn't scoop a throw at first base the spoils a double play that would have ended an inning. Either way being able to field a position is a premium skill to have in the NL and that is another thing I appreciate about that style of baseball.

America's Pastime (pt. 1)

Growing up, I spent most of my summers with baseball. As a kid I played tee-ball and as I got older I progressed to the point of playing American Legion baseball. When I wasn't playing baseball competitively you could find me out in the yard with my brother throwing a baseball around. As much as I enjoyed playing baseball, the next best thing to playing it myself was watching it on TV. I have been a Minnesota Twins fan for as long as I can remember. In fact my aunt gave me a game used ball that was signed by the entire 1982 Twins team on my first birthday that September. I have been fortunate enough to have experienced two World Series wins by my favorite team, which is two more than can be said for the fans of one particular team that calls the north side of Chicago home.

Seeing as how I watched the Twins almost exclusively in my formative years, with the exception of catching the nationally televised Sunday night game, you can imagine that I grew very accustomed to the American League style of baseball. I remember as a kid hearing people bemoan the existence of the designated hitter and thinking to myself, why can't these traditionalists get with the times and accept the designated hitter as part of the game? The American League style of baseball is more suited to providing exciting offensive games with more scoring and more homeruns. After all, that seemed to be what most fans, including me, were interested in seeing, high scoring games and long, towering homers.

A few years ago I moved out of Minnesota and to my current home in Milwaukee, WI. Even when I was living in MN I always had a soft spot for the Brewers with their clever MB mitt logo and their scrappy, small market mentality, so it was no surprise to me after living in Milwaukee for a few short weeks and watching the Brewers play on a nearly nightly basis that I began to cheer for the Crew. I am still a Twins fan first and foremost, but the Brewers have become my adopted home team and second favorite to watch. The Brewers had been an American League team until 1998 when they were moved to the National League in a division realignment. Although I had watched some National League games up to this point, I had never really been fully immersed in watching this style of baseball on a daily baseball.

My preference for National League baseball was something that took some time to develop. It was baseball and I enjoy watching any kind of baseball, but I slowly began to feel like the National League style was the way the game was meant to be played. It was difficult for me to identify exactly why my preferences had shifted at first. However, eventually I discovered the reason that I now preferred hitting pitchers and the lack of a DH. The reason basically boils down to the fact that the National League style of play is more cerebral. You take all of the chess moves that are seen in American League baseball and multiply the intensity of those decisions and how often those decisions have to be made by about ten fold. That makes for a much more interesting game.

To be continued...

Stay tuned for part two of America's Past Time where I'll provide some concrete examples of why I prefer the National League style of play.

Small town bored cop

I had an interesting run-in with the authorities at the end of a long road trip yesterday. I had already driven approximately 500 miles when I reached a small town. It was one of those real annoying small towns whose only claim to fame is that you still have to slow down to 30 mph from highway speeds while passing through. The town has little or nothing else to offer. I was familiar with this particular town and knew that it always had a strong police presence so I took it slow through town and drove by a police officer as I was exiting the town. I was not doing anything wrong so I was quite surprised when I saw lights in my rear view mirror just a few miles down the road. Naturally I pulled over and put the car in park. I waited for the officer to approach my car and I proceeded to open my window. I got the classic "Do you know why I pulled you over today?" line and I replied that I had no idea. He said, "I pulled you over because I noticed you were wearing headphones." My response was that I was indeed wearing headphones. I inquired whether or not it was against any law to do so and I was informed that it was quite illegal to wear headphone while driving. Apparently this is not a new law either. Of course me being the person that I am, I had to get clarification. I asked the officer why it was illegal to wear headphones but a radio is acceptable. He replied that headphones are closer to your ear. So I asked if the distance from the speaker to the ear was the determining factor for what was allowed and what wasn't. At this point the officer was no longer amused. He just told me that he didn't make the laws he just enforced them. In the end he didn't write me a ticket, he just gave me a warning.

This has to be one of the dumbest laws in existence. You don't even need to hear to drive in the first place. Deaf people are allowed to drive. Why can't I wear headphones? If I wanted to I could turn up my radio much beyond the volume that I listen to music with headphones. I hear people driving around all over the place with giant sound systems that rattle the windows of houses as the cars drive down the street. How is it that that type of activity is perfectly legal, but I can't listen to my music through headphones. I'll award a shiny nickel if anyone can give me a reasonable explanation to this issue.

Brain Art?

I'm thinking about printing this or something like this up for some decoration in my hovel. It will be the only thing even that remotely bright in color, but it is brains and how awesome is that?

In other news I have another story from softball. So, last week I got to our game early as usual because I like to throw, hit and get loose before we start playing. When I first got to the field I was greeted by a dear friend who was written about in a previous post. We'll call him Porn Fiend or PF for short. At first PF and I were carelessly shooting the breeze. We talked about the weather and how the local baseball team was doing. At some point PF asked me if I would give him an honest answer if he asked me a question. I said sure. I don't have anything to hide. His question was, "What happens when you die?" I quickly tried to come up with a vague yet honest reply and what I came up with was "I don't know." How could I know? I thought I was in the clear until he jumped on me about taking Jesus, God and all related deities as my personal savior. We argued semantic for a bit about how knowing and believing are different things and eventually some other people showed up. When they did I uttered a "Thank science" under my breath. The injection of new blood resulted in playing some catch and I was thrilled to be done with that conversation.

We got destroyed in our games, but my story picks up again after we were done playing. As I have said before they players hold a prayer circle after the games. I am fine with this. I stand respectfully while the praying is happening. However, last week PF volunteered to close the prayer. The prayer opener asked for healing of sick people and the usual and it came time for PF to speak. The first words out his mouth were as follows, "Dear God, tonight we played softball with a man that has not been saved. His name is Doug." Wow, how awesome is that? PF continued to babble on about all things God for several minutes as he typically does. Specifically he asked that God show himself to Doug and that Doug opens his heart to God and all things wonderful and happy. You can about imagine some of the looks I got as the prayer circle was breaking up. I think half of the people half expected me to pull a goat out of my back pocket and have a black mass sacrifice between first and second base. The moral of the story is two-fold. If someone asks you if you'll answer a question honestly, just say yes and give them the answer they want to hear. Secondly, don't babble other people's personal belief system to others. If they want other people to know they will tell them. We'll see if I get benched next week...

Dave Coulier was not behind the counter

Found this awesome liquor store in San Francisco. I thought I'd see Joey Gladstone working for sure, but alas I had no such luck.

I've got some sinnin' to do!

I had an interesting experience a few weeks ago following a church softball game. I play on said softball team. I am not a member of the church and I do not go to the church. I just play on their softball team. Well, every week after we finish playing, both teams gather together for a prayer session.

Normally I just stand toward the back respectfully silent. The usual prayer session starts by asking for prayer requests. These requests most often come from people with sick family members and things like that, completely understandable requests. A few weeks ago when the call for requests was made nobody was speaking up. Eventually, a guy started to speak. It was his first week playing for us. Apparently he had just joined the church recently. Anyway, he requested that we pray for his sin of lust. Now because no one had really spoken up about requests I thought this new guy might be just trying to lighten the mood. So what do I do? I start clapping my hands and saying things like, "who doesn't need help with sins of lust." That was followed by a hearty laugh from me. I thought it was pretty funny, but I noticed a lack of laughter from the rest of the group. This caused me to look around the group where I noticed that many people were simply staring at me with a blank look on their face. No big deal I thought, it was funny to me but I guess lust jokes don't go over well with the church crowd. Finally, the new guy spoke up again and clarified by saying that he was serious and that he had an addiction to pornography and masturbation. This only made things more awkward. For the duration of the prayers I just kept my head down and left quickly upon the completion of the prayers.

Personally, I'm not sure that guy has a problem unless he's masturbating so much that he can't hold down a job. At any rate this was an excellent example of me sticking my foot in my mouth. I will maintain that my joke was funny and that it is off-putting for the new guy to reveal that much personal information to people that he hardly knew.

Questions, comments, complaints?

Quote of the post: "Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of children."

Scheel/Schultz

Like Frost/Nixon, get it?

I had a very intense and entertaining conversation with a friend tonight. We'll call "Adam" for the sake of anonymity. Here is my best recreation of the dramatic events that unfolded. Most of this conversation was half-serious so take it with a grain of salt. I don't want any hate mail.

The original context is that we were talking about plans for the end of the summer.

"Adam S." - ...Well I have to be back in town by *redacted*

DS - Why?

"AS" - Because there is a wedding I have to go to. The reception is a few block from my apartment so I am pretty excited.

DS - I can see wanting to be back for the reception, but are you really going to go to the wedding?

"AS" - Yeah

DS - I have a proposition. We hang out at your apartment during the wedding. Then we get all dressed up like we went to the wedding and just show up at the reception. Just like that episode of Scrubs when Jordan convinces Dr. Cox to do the same thing. You just say you were at the wedding and talk about how beautiful it was. The plan is foolproof.

"AS" - People will notice I'm not at the wedding. I am going to the wedding.

DS - Let me reframe the issue: Do you want to go to the wedding? I just want to understand your motivation.

"AS" - I have never wanted to go to any wedding.

DS - Then why are you going? Out of some social obligation for you to do something you don't want to do? The reason I always liked you was because you were never afraid to do what you wanted to do regardless of a sense of social obligation.

"AS" - Why don't you just hang out at my apartment during the wedding and come to the reception?

DS - Because I know exactly what you will do. I bet before you're even two drinks into the evening you'll throw me under the bus for not going to the wedding in front of a bunch of our friends by using an elaborate ruse. You'll say something about how great it was when that lady sang that song and I'll agree without knowing that there was no lady that sang a song. You'll be making yourself look good and making me look like an ass at the same time and I am pretty sure you won't pass up that oportunity. If you to go to the wedding I almost have to go, if only to protect myself from humiliation later in the evening.

"AS" - So you'd be willing to do something you didn't want to do because you felt you had because of a social obligation?

DS - Alright, you win this round. I just wanted to understand your motivation and I now I do.

"AS" - Finally, after a 35 minute conversation.

DS - I'm a big enough man to admit when I've been beat in an argument. I will reluctantly attend the wedding ceremony.

"AS" Are you invited?

DS - No, but that doesn't really bother me.

Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things

I got such a positive reaction to my last post that I am going to post again this week. I won't be bitching this time, so I won't have to deal with the bullshit backlash from people that really have no reason to be reading this in the first place.

So, I watched most of the original Star Wars trilogy last weekend. Without paraphrasing Clerks too much I have to say that A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back are definitely the strong points of the trilogy. I like that the rebels are victorious in Return of the Jedi, but were the Ewoks really necessary? I mean the Empire has all of this bad ass technology and the Ewoks totally kick their asses with dumbass sticks and ropes. Why couldn't the rebels have done it without the help of those furry little bastards?

Quote of the day: Don't start something you can't finish. I have a good memory and I am fucking relentless. -Doug Schultz

Things that confuse and infuriate me

This post is going to be bitching and complaining. You know what gets my goat? When I have to rely on someone else to do a pretty insignificant and menial task in a completely reasonable period of time. You know why that gets my goat? Because 9 times out of 10 the task doesn't get finished. The second most annoying thing about a situation like this is when you inquire about the status of the task to the responsible party. This party is usually nearly unreachable by any form of communication. If by some chance they actually do return a phone call/email or if a miracle happens and they do their part and answer their phone/email, they always have one more excuse than what you can debunk. I am not a moron. I know that there isn't a good reason why you couldn't hold up you part of the bargain. In fact it doesn't even surprise me anymore, I'd be more surprised if you had pulled you head out of your ass and had done what you had agreed to do.

It would be like if the Phoenix Foundation had sent MacGyver to a dangerous Central American country to try to release some political prisoners and Pete Thorton forgot to submit the correct paperwork to actually get the getaway plane to the make shift runway on time. In that situation, MacGyver would be standing on an empty runway with all the freed hostages while a small battalion of soldiers were getting in rifle range. Can you think of all the crazy plans he'd have to come up with to squeeze out of that situation? That is actually a decent episode idea (discretely add to my MacGyver fan fiction idea folder). I actually strayed from my original point but you get the idea.

Here is another example. Remember at the end of Back to the Future when Doc Brown was setting up all of the wires that would run from the Hill Valley clock tower to the wire that the Delorean would catch to provide the flux capacitor with the necessary 1.21 gigawatts of electricity to send Marty back to 1985? Well a police officer sees what he is up to and asks about all the equipment. He nearly lifted up the tarp that was covering the Delorean. Doc explains that he is conducting a weather experiment and produces the proper permit. The cop goes about his merry way and everything turns out the way you remember. Think of what might have happened if Doc Brown had failed to do the paperwork to acquire the permit. Marty would have been stuck in 1955 until Doc could come up with another solution. You get the point. I'm annoyed because it is apparently a task of collosal proportions for someone to do what they agreed to do and submit some paperwork.

Quote of the day: "Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with... molecular structures."

Re-energized

Alright, I am really going to do a better job of updating this. Here is the latest news from your personal savior.

I started painting again. I finished a night scene of a cemetery titled "No Flowers." Sorry the picture kind of sucks. In all fairness I was holding my computer up and using the web cam to take it. I really need a digital camera.


Currently, I am working on something new that will hopefully turn out pretty bad ass. It is going to be a scarecrow tied to a cross with a fire red sunset in the background.

In other news, I saw Observe and Report last weekend. It wasn't exactly what I expected it to be. It was quite a bit darker than I would have thought from seeing the trailers. I think it addressed an interesting question. Will you cheer on the violent hero even if he/she is completely flawed and potentially more dangerous than any of the enemies? You really want to pull for Seth Rogan's character, but if you actually sit back and think about it he is a very unstable and dangerous individual. In some sense it reminded me of the movie Funny Games which tackled a similar question.

I'm unveiling a new feature and it is going to be the quote of post (lets be realistic, I won't update this everyday). The quote of the day will probably reflect what kind of mood I am in on that particular day or at that particular time. If anyone either reads this or can deduce where the quote is from they will win a very insignificant prize.

"It would be nice if things could turn out right, turn out right yeah. Don't think I'll ever see the day."

Aqua Teen Hunger Force - "The Meat Zone"

I thought this was a good way to get this blog kicked off right. Meatwad seemingly gains the ability to see the future. It turns out he was eating caulk and a side effect was thinking you could see the future. Shake had some pretty decent lines and I'd say this episode is ATHF at its best. Dana Snyder who voices Master Shake has an entertaining podcast called Ken P.D. Snydecast with Ken Plume at http://www.quickstopentertainment.com/ that I highly recommend.

First post

Alright, this blog is basically going to be me commenting and reviewing various movies and TV. I am not a giant film geek so if you're expecting references to 1950's Italian films you won't find them here.

There are very few movies that I cannot tolerate. I can usually take something positive away from just about any movie I see. Believe it or not, I even find Waterworld watchable. I am a big fan of Kevin Smith. I also enjoy the way that Richard Kelly tells a story. If you think that Armageddon was a great movie, I do not trust your opinion and would not take your advice on movies.

On the TV front, I am a huge Lost fan. Scrubs is another favorite of mine. Additionally, I enjoy the Office, House, Dexter, Married...with Children, Unhappily Ever After, Seinfeld and the list could go on and on.